In advertising, I learned early on that certain people bring weapons to work. The weapons are never used for self defense, but rather to commit heinous acts of terror. The weapon of choice for the weak and fragile of heart? Yelling. I’ve seen yelling used all types of ways. I’ve seen it whipped out in a flash and aimed at someone, point blank range. Pow! You do that enough times, in front of enough people, and suddenly, just brandishing your weapon is enough to leave people shaken. I’ve seen yelling discharged into the air at no one in particular, just so the sound echoes across the department and everyone knows who brought their weapon to work that day. Boom! I’ve even seen yelling used more like a jockey’s whip, slicing into the sides of an entire department, wounding them over and over, demanding them towards an intended result or finish line. It is by far the industry’s number one fear tactic.
Yelling sucks, but honestly, it’s never really bothered me. My attitude has always been, go off. Pull back your cloak and let me see what kind of character flaws and weaknesses you’re working with. I’ve yet to see one yeller not reveal a few of them. Yelling reveals who is starting to fold under pressure. It sheds a huge light on those who are insecure in their roles and have imposter syndrome. You also quickly find out who is afraid to take accountability and is looking for someone to blame. When a person starts yelling, and eventually, someone always does, I’ve always tried to focus more on what was being said than the venom it was said with.
About four or five years into my career, I found myself working for a boss who was on his way out. He was still running the department, but his time was up, and everyone knew it. His relationship with his boss had deteriorated. He was being uninvited to meetings. And his power was slowly, methodically, being taken away for all to see. He was not accepting this well and appeared to be in shambles.
One afternoon, I stood outside his office with my partner. We had a 3:30 appointment to share some new ideas on a huge campaign the entire department was working on. As we waited outside of his closed door, we could hear everything that was happening behind it. His boss was laying into him. And from what we could hear, his frustration with our boss’s performance had reached the breaking point. When the door flung open and his boss stomped away, what we saw was a red-faced child who had just been severely scolded by his parent. He pointed us next door to his partner’s office, where we waited for him.
He arrived in an emotional daze. His right leg shook violently as we presented. He kept asking, “is that it?” And idea after idea, we kept saying, “just a few more.” The second we confirmed we had presented our final idea, he jumped up out of his chair wildly and started yelling. We could have presented a campaign laced in Cannes gold, it wouldn’t have mattered. He had found an emotional dumping ground. And he chose to take every ounce of venom his poisonous body could muster and inject it viscously into our bloodstreams. “You guys suck! You’ve done less work than anybody in this department, I don’t know how you even have a f*cking job. Start earning your f*cking salaries!” He huffed, puffed, and stomped off. We sat there, ears still ringing from the discharge.
That is the first and only time that has ever happened to me. It was a direct attack on my character and work ethic. Any thoughts of putting that man back in his place, and there were a few, was only going to hurt me, and potentially the future Black creatives following in my path. So, I walked away. In the minute or so it took to get back to my desk, my angry boss fired off a follow up email. It read, “After looking up how much you guys actually make, I take that back, you ARE earning your salaries.” Pure terrorism. It wasn’t right, and that tiny man should have felt consequences from his cowardly act. But back then, I didn’t trust HR or anyone else to have my back, so like most victims, I took it on the chin and kept it moving.
The lesson? Yelling is a weapon, but it is not the only weapon. Today, social media, HR, legal action and a corporate climate far less tolerable of unkind acts by bullies, are incredible weapons. Learn the extent of their power and use them wisely to protect yourself. Our working environments owe us a chance to not only earn a living, but to thrive and be happy doing so. Anyone looking to turn you into target practice by weaponizing that space with their emotional immaturity, is no longer deserving of their place in our industry. Stay safe our there. One luv.